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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23009041">How Do You Write About Being in Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JibbityJibJob/pseuds/JibbityJibJob'>JibbityJibJob</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, supercat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:16:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,049</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23009041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JibbityJibJob/pseuds/JibbityJibJob</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She had no idea why Snapper had assigned her this story. It wasn't a puff piece, but it wasn't.... happening. It wasn't news. She couldn't find the connection between being in love and an old theatre being demolished. It wasn't often that she was assigned a topic and an angle, but at least it had always been something she could figure out with more than enough time remaining before her deadline.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers/Cat Grant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How Do You Write About Being in Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>How can you write a story about being in love if you've never really been in love yourself?</p>
<p>That was Kara's current dilemma. She had, on more than one occasion, thought that what she was feeling was love, but each of those relationships had fallen apart not long after they began. Did she love those people? Yes, she had. Very much so. Was she <em>in love</em> with them? As it turned out, no. Not at all.</p>
<p>Being in love with the idea of being in love is a thing. Thinking that you need to be in love in order to feel complete, validated, to fit some piece of the human puzzle into that empty spot... That's a thing. It's society's To Do List.</p>
<p>First, graduate. With friends. And keep those friends.</p>
<p>Second, get a degree. Doesn't matter <em>which</em> degree, just get one. It's important.</p>
<p>Third, get a job.</p>
<p>Then succeed at that job. Advance your position at that job. Maybe switch jobs, but maintain your career. Then find somebody. Let the sparks fly. Discover that you both live for the same weird combination of ice cream flavours. Fall in love. Get married. Get a house. (Those two were interchangeable.) Have kids, be even more successful in your work, help your children to become successful (their success makes you <em>more</em> successful), travel, retire, still be in love.</p>
<p>Nowhere in that grand plan was there space for, well, <em>space</em>.</p>
<p>How could Kara fall in love with someone when she couldn't be herself? She had tried with James, but <em>herself </em>was not the version he'd wanted in the end. She'd tried with others, most of whom she never saw again after one or two dates. She'd forced herself to dismiss the possibility of another altogether.</p>
<p>When was she supposed to tell somebody the truth? After they'd fallen? That left everyone open to pain. She certainly couldn't start things off with that particular bombshell. <em>'I'm Supergirl. Would you like one of my five orders of onion rings?'</em></p>
<p>No. It was too complicated. Starting off as Kara Danvers <em>made</em> it complicated. But starting in the suit? Meeting someone on the street after a rescue or a fight? That was... ridiculous. For starters, Alex had drilled it into her head not to linger. Fewer photos meant fewer opportunities for identification. In and out, quick as you can whilst maintaining a pleasant enough manner.</p>
<p>Kara wanted to be in love. She hadn't felt the comforting warmth of unconditional love since she was 12 years old and a citizen of Krypton. That's not to say that the Danvers, and Alex in particular, hadn't loved her completely. They had. They still did. Alex was her sister, through and through. In all ways but blood and planet of origin. But there was something different about being loved just for you, with no extenuating circumstances, just because you <em>are</em> you.</p>
<p>Would being in love, <em>real</em> love, with someone feel as natural and right as loving and being loved by her parents? She couldn't quantify it. There was an element that she couldn't put into words, not that she'd ever really tried. Not out loud, at least.</p>
<p>Part of Kara's problem was not knowing the answer to that question. Because what if it <em>didn't</em>? What if something was still missing even in the presence that perfect give and take with another person? A human, likely, though she certainly wasn't crossing anyone off her nonexistent list just because.</p>
<p>Sitting in a tiny café on her block, Kara was hard pressed for a way to start her article, never mind write the entire thing. She stared at her setup. Laptop front and centre, notes and research to her left, pastries and an oversized mug of hot chocolate to her right. She had no idea why Snapper had assigned her this story. It wasn't a puff piece, but it wasn't.... <em>happening</em>. It wasn't news. She couldn't find the connection between being in love and an old theatre being demolished. It wasn't often that she was assigned a topic <em>and</em> an angle, but at least it had always been something she could figure out with more than enough time remaining before her deadline.</p>
<p>“How do you write about being in love when you've never been in love?” She ran her fingers through her hair, letting her fingernails drag across her scalp in an effort to relax.</p>
<p>“Well, for starters you could try actually <em>writing</em>.”</p>
<p>Kara nearly sent herself through the ceiling, but settled for a conspicuously loud thump as her chair returned to the floor. “Oh my <em>God</em>, don't sneak–” The admonishment died on her lips. Standing over her, looking completely and utterly out of place in an emerald green silk blouse and perfectly tailored trousers, was none other than Cat Grant.</p>
<p>Kara couldn't help herself. “Cat,” she practically whispered.</p>
<p>“Yes, that <em>is</em> my name. A change of zipcode does not require a change of nomenclature. What's this about love?”</p>
<p>Kara wasn't sure how to respond to that. Kara wasn't sure she was <em>breathing</em>. “Where did you come from,” she asked.</p>
<p>Cat gave an impatient little huff and rearranged herself so that he was standing contrapposto, her sunglasses dangling from the tip of one finger. “Honestly, Kara. If you don't close your mouth the barista is going to throw a cinnamon bun right into it.”</p>
<p>“Ha. I wouldn't mind that. Do you want to sit? The chair's probably free of whatever you're currently avoiding.”</p>
<p>With a squint, Cat pulled out the chair opposite of Kara's and, pausing only briefly, sat.</p>
<p>It had been months and months, maybe a year, since Kara had last seen Cat in person, and even that had only been about ten seconds from thirty feet away. She took a moment to look over her former boss. Still the same in almost every way. Blonde curls kept just above her shoulders, sharp eyes, sharp jawline... Kara shook her head.</p>
<p>“How are you, Cat?”</p>
<p>“I'd say fine, but I suspect you know better than that, what with your... <em>contacts</em>.”</p>
<p>“To be honest, none of what I've heard has been confirmed. Not even anonymously. But it's true? You're no longer Press Secretary?”</p>
<p>“'<em>No longer–'</em> I was <em>fired</em>, Kara. Didn't even give me the opportunity to resign.”</p>
<p>Cat did not sound impressed, even a tad whiny, if Kara was being honest. She tried not to smile. “How does that make you feel?”</p>
<p>“Oh, for God's sake. It makes me feel <em>good</em>, Kara. I don't care who you are, you don't get to talk about my– No one gets to say what that <em>man</em> said and not feel the full power of the Queen of All Media, even if she <em>is</em> Press Secretary now. I did not hone my craft, <em>master</em> my craft, and I did not build an empire, <em>which</em> is still <em>mine</em>, not to use it to tear down a pompous–”</p>
<p>Cat stopped short when she realized Kara had laid a warm hand over her own.</p>
<p>“Breathe, Cat. I'm not questioning your decision. Or your integrity or commitment to telling entitled assholes where to go.”</p>
<p>Cat allowed herself a moment. And then, quite suddenly, she turned her hand over so that her palm was pressing up against Kara's.</p>
<p>Kara blinked.</p>
<p>Cat pursed her lips. Seeming to come to some kind of an agreement with herself, she looked at Kara in a way Kara wasn't sure she ever had before. At least not to her face.</p>
<p>“The way I reacted. The things I thought and felt when Johnson said what he said, it forced a few things to the front of my mind. Things that I had been ignoring for years, for my own benefit.” Cat swallowed. “And for yours.”</p>
<p>“What–”</p>
<p>“Let me finish, Kara, please.”</p>
<p>Kara could only nod.</p>
<p>“About a year after you started working for me, I noticed certain... feelings that I was having. Feelings that were not appropriate in that context. Feelings that I not only did not <em>want</em> to act on, but, even if I had wanted to, I <em>could</em> not.”</p>
<p>Cat's hand had begun to tremble. Kara held on tightly, not sure where this was going, but unwilling to go on not knowing. She was sure she looked at least a little shell shocked, and she tried to school her features.</p>
<p>“Another year went by, and though I was aware that those feelings had not gone away, I was confident in my handling of them. And then you caught a plane.”</p>
<p>Kara froze.</p>
<p>“I don't think it's shocking that I know this, Kara. Please, don't try to convince me I'm wrong. It won't work. I <em>know </em>and it's okay.”</p>
<p>Kara knew she was breathing a beat faster than usual.</p>
<p>“You caught a plane, and you <em>flourished</em>. You had been extraordinary in those first two years, but you seemed to come <em>alive</em> after that. Those feelings, I lost my grip on them. They grew that first year of,” Cat quickly looked around, “<em>heroics</em>. My feelings grew and so did you. You became someone different. Oh, of course you were still <em>Kara</em>, still thoughtful and self-sacrificing, still the best assistant I had ever had, but you grew into yourself. It was like you'd been waiting for something to fit, and then it did, and you became who you are today. Or at least an early version of who you are now. You've never stopped growing.”</p>
<p>Kara took a deep breath. “I... Cat.” She raised her free hand in question. “What <em>feelings</em>?”</p>
<p>Cat seemed overwhelmed by the question. “Everything. All of them. Admiration. Respect. Trust. ...Affection.”</p>
<p>Kara waited.</p>
<p>“Love.”</p>
<p>Cat pulled her hand free to cross her arms. For protection, in defense against criticism or rejection, Kara didn't know.</p>
<p>“You... loved me?” It was a whisper.</p>
<p>“No.” Kara wilted. “No! Kara. Past tense, no. Present tense, yes. I <em>love</em> you.”</p>
<p>Cat seemed to hold her breath. Kara didn't know what to say. Ten minutes earlier she'd been lamenting her task of writing about love without ever having been in love, and now suddenly Cat Grant, <em>Cat Grant</em>, was telling her that she loved her. Had <em>been</em> loving her for, what? Years? Something she never thought could happen. What were the odds that while she was fostering a secret crush, then shoving down more serious and seemingly permanent feelings, the woman she'd been focussed on and dedicated to had been doing the same?</p>
<p>“I think–”</p>
<p>She heard Cat suck a breath in through her teeth, felt the energy shift, heard her heartbeat hasten its pace. Looking up, she saw the mask slam across Cat's face. Sitting across from her now was a woman prepared to pretend nothing at all had happened and no hurt had been felt. Reaching out, she uncrossed Cat's arms and took her hands in her own.</p>
<p>“Stop, please. Just listen to me,” Kara murmured. “It's not one-sided. I've felt the same for a long time. I just didn't know it was an option. And then with the enemies I've made, I didn't think it could ever be a safe option. But you're telling me that it is?”</p>
<p>Cat nodded, her posture relaxing, mask slipping away.</p>
<p>“Then let's try.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Really, Cat.” Kara was grinning now, all teeth and sparkling blue eyes. “Let's do something. Should we go out? Should we order in? Oh! But first I <em>really</em> need to write this. I have a deadline.”</p>
<p>Cat chuckled and gave Kara's hands a quick squeeze before letting them go and standing. “You write. I'll plan. I think we'll order in. We haven't been able to talk properly in too long. If you want company while you write, you're still on the guest list at the front desk. Carter's at away at science camp this week, so it'll be quiet enough to work. Come to the penthouse whenever you like.”</p>
<p>Kara started packing up her things. “I like now.”</p>
<p>Cat considered her for a moment. “Okay. Let's go,” she said, already striding towards the front of the café.</p>
<p>Kara took a second to breathe and marvel. She wasn't quite sure yet what had just happened, that would take some time to process, but she knew where she was headed.</p>
<p>Throwing the strap of her satchel over her shoulder, Kara grabbed two last pastries and took her first step towards the future.</p>
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